One Step at a Time...

Okay, so my tag line states that I am "surviving the quarter life crisis one step at a time" but what is the quarter life crisis...?

The quarter life crisis is the twenties version of the midlife crisis. You reach your mid-twenties and that awkward age where you're no longer a teenager and you realise that a road of responsibilities lays before you. My "crisis" came out of the blue. I was living very comfortably... I was at the start of a career I'd worked very hard to secure, I was in a long term relationship, I didn't have any children but I had a cat, a mortgage and a car on finance. I was very grown up. My crisis manifested itself in the form of panic. I asked myself, at the age of twenty five, if I was 100% satisfied with where I was and the answer was no. So I moved out, booked several holidays and have been reflecting on what I really want ever since. (I've also lost the cat - not on purpose! He went missing after I moved home :( and I mourn his loss everyday)

Being in your twenties is difficult:
1) Can you afford to move out?
2) Is the job your in paying you enough, satisfying you, challenging you?
3) Is he/ she the one?
4) Have you traveled?
5) Tick, tick, tick your biological clock is ticking!
6) Your single and all your friends are browsing through copies of the next directory furnishing their first homes while your secretly looking on POF.
7) Facebook envy - everyone is so much hotter, cooler, and hipper than you are (yes I used the word hip!)
8) Can you afford to do anything!!!... pay rent, buy a new outfit from Topshop, drink cocktails, attend birthday meals, get your hair, nails and tan done and still pay for petrol?
9) Are you satisfying your responsibilities as a daughter, son, sister, brother, grandchild, aunt, uncle...?
10) One word... GRAVITY!!!

If you have read this list and not cried - WELL DONE! The thing is we try to do it all, be it all, have it all. We compare ourselves to Penny Perfect who works two jobs, volunteers for charity, makes her own jam, cushions and clothes while planning mini breaks with Peter Perfect and keeping successfully in touch with all her friends in a cloud of effortlessness!

Is the quarter life crisis a modern phenomena brought about by constantly judging and comparing ourselves to others through Facebook, Twitter, blogs, magazines and reality TV? To be fair people have always tried to keep up with the Jones' but it was a bit easier to do when you didn't have 900+ Jones' on Facebook to keep up with!

So yes, I am surviving my "crisis" one step at a time even if it means being back in the boxroom. And yes, the grass might not be greener on the other side. But...

“Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.” -Marilyn Monroe

http://exploreforayear.com/clarity/45-inspiring-quotes-change

Sale Haul

I was on a mission today to find a strapless bra to wear with a low back dress I've got for New Year (actually I've had it since last new year but the underwear predicament has stopped me from wearing it!) I have tried on backless, low backed and converter bras and felt totally unsupported in everything. I was about to give up when I spotted a bandeau bra in Primark... Success! Sucky inny pants purchased now just to try on with the dress.

Picked up a few other things in Primark.  A lounge top £2, cute ankle socks £1 and waist control tights if the pants fail and a bra and pants set in Primark £4. They've started doing DD cups so I was overjoyed to find my size. Also bought nude leather pumps from Faith reduced to £14. I really struggle to find a slip on shoe that fits but these are really narrow and are much better quality than a similar pair I saw in Topshop.

I also picked up a black tube skirt in Topshop sale at £12 and some half price jewellery. Bangle £7, ring £4.25. And finally the shoes... River Island £70 down to £35. Not entirely sure if I'll keep them. Bought them to go with new years outfit... We'll see.

I'm off out to a nightclub in town that's just recently reopened. Last time I was there I was 20... Eek! If I wear said shoes I'll need to make sure any prospective male friends are 6ft +!

Christmas Stocking

Just a little post about gifts, brownies and denim Christmas shirts!

My sister and I were in charge of Christmas dinner this year. The preparation began on Christmas eve. We made mushroom soup and Nigella's brownies while crying over It's a Wonderful Life! I finally got to crack out my Christmas shirt. A bargain find in Barnardos! My mum and sister customised their own charity shop cardies in homage this year. Pictured is my haul of Christmas goodies... Liz Earle skin care set. Givenchy Hot Couture perfume. Massive Velcro rollers. H&M hoodie. A vintage soda syphon. Plus pjs, underwear, books and a stocking full of loveliness... A fabulous perk of being back home!

Surviving the Festive Period sans Man

I've been meaning to write that all important second post for a while.

My excuses are plentiful...
1) I am the queen of procrastination.
2) I've discovered the bloglovin' app for my iPhone and have developed an obsession with fashion, beauty and DIY blogs.
3) I have also discovered Twitter (as if Facebook wasn't keeping me "busy" enough) .
4) If I write this post then I have to sit down and really think about the past 6 months and how I feel about my current situation.

I am decidedly less festive this year but my reasoning is that I have reached that awkward age where Christmas has lost it's sparkle and won't be regained until I have children and, like my Mummy friends, am sprinkling a mixture of glitter and oats on my front path while dancing about with sleigh bells bellowing HO, HO, HO! However, I have spent the past five Christmases with man and now I am sans man - no boyfriend gifts, no trips to winter wonderland, no mistletoe kisses. Is that the reason I am looking on the holidays with such indifference? Is Christmas for couples? I got emotional when I was helping my mum put up the Christmas tree (was this because I was doing it with a rather large Baileys in hand?!). I hadn't thought about my ex for a while and yet there I was tearing up... and why? Any joint effort we put into something ended up in an arguement and putting up the tree was no different. We also disagreed on whether snowball fights were cool. I was in the yes camp and he was in the no :( 


We place huge expectations on Christmas... we talk about it non-stop in the two months or more leading up to the 25th of December, we watch Christmas films that spread messages of goodwill and joy and coupled or single we place huge expectations on ourselves to have the best time, the most perfect time. So how do I feel about my current situation...? I am not unhappy. I am home surrounded by family who love me. I have had a year full of amazing experiences and experiences which have helped me learn a lot of life lessons. I am looking forward to the new year, of wiping the slate, of starting afresh whatever that means. However, that doesn't mean I haven't had my moments. Winter is for snuggling and my poor teddy bear is thread bare. I've also had to endure Facebook posts from loved up couples gushing about how lucky they were and how fabulous their boyfriends/ girlfriends are and how happy they are etc. etc. I'm possibly suffering from SAD... get up the dark, come home in the dark, hide in room, sleep, repeat on a daily basis. I also bumped into my ex the other day while out being festively merry and the casual banter is still a bit forced because there are many mixed feelings still there. I'm also struggling with the rules of dating and invariably playing it cool when I am not! (Separate post to follow on this)

Surviving the festive period sans man? Well we're only half way through and I've survived so far without a major melt down I think I'm doing not to badly... Bring on Hogmany (New Years Eve)!!!

Surviving the Quarter Life Crisis

I got a hair on my chin two days before I turned 20... I remember thinking my life was over. I was no longer a teenager and was certain that before I knew it I would be drawing my pension with a full on beard.

I was mortally afraid of entering my twenties and spent my final days as a teenager believing that any kind of frivalous and immature behaviour would have to stop. I had my twenties all planned out; I would finish university and get a well paid job, buy a house, get engaged, get married and have children and be back on the career ladder before I was thirty. And I pretty much spent the majority of the past five years adhering to this plan...

I graduated and did my teaching PGDE. I bought a house with my long term boyfriend and the next logical step was marriage and children. However, as I approached 25, even though I was sticking to my plan, I began to panic. I kept counting the years I had left in my twenties. I became obsessed over how the next five years of my life were going to pan out. I started unnecessarily stressing about my biological clock and checking how old celebrities were when they had their first child. I fretted over how "we" were ever going to afford to get married, have children and buy a bigger houses. I compared myself to my parents, to people around me and ultimately at the end of it all I decided everything I thought I wanted, I didn't.

When you are younger 25 seems like a very old age. However, once I became a "quarter of a century" I started to re-evaluate my life. I felt bored and more importantly I felt trapped by the expectations I had placed upon myself. I also realised that while I loved my partner dearly I was beginning to resent him for the things that I had put aside in order to achieve what I thought was the norm.

And so I left my boyfriend and our home and moved back in with my parents. It has been an interesting, emotional and fun five months and this blog is going to chart the Dos & Don'ts of surviving a quarter life crisis as well as tit bits from my life here and there.