Sunday Blues

I've got the "Sunday Blues". My fragile little mind and body are definitely not friends today. I keep wondering to myself when I first experienced this feeling. Did I ever feel like this as a child when my Sundays were spent with my sister creating fictitious worlds where bedroom carpets became seas and cupboards under the stairs became entire worlds? Or as a teenager when my Sundays were spent lying in, doing homework and staying up to watch the late night Channel 4 film? In all honesty, I know when I'm going to experience "Sunday Blues" and I know why because I've experienced it more in the past two years than ever before.

Alcohol and singledom are a lethal combination. Everyone feels rubbish when they are hungover but when there is no one to wrap their arm around you feelings of patheticness and self-loathing ensue. I am pretty disappointed in myself for allowing my thoughts to wallow in such murky puddles of self-pity. However, beyond being disappointed, I am angry that the lack of a cuddle can darken my evening. I am usually the optimistic member of my gang. Proffering words of wisdom and a kick up the bum to melancholy friends far and wide but it's hard to be happy all of the time.

I have a feeling that this current case of "Sunday Blues" may be augmented by the fact that everyone around me is moving on or changing. Marriage, babies, future plans and fears. None of which I grudge but all of which seem very far away from me; glinting in the distance, something I am inexplicably drawn to but can't reach for now. At one point in my life I was certain that all of this would be in the bag by the time I turned thirty and now I'm not sure if it will or whether I want it to...

A man once said:

Sometimes life’s so much cooler when you just don’t know any better and all the painful lessons have not hammered your head open yet.

I think everybody reaches a point in their life where this is true. I think it's called adulthood. Damn you "Sunday Blues".

Easter Holidays: Week One

My Easter Holidays Week One:

Friday:
Made lunch for my Mum then went shopping. Bought new boots from Topshop and had a mini Primark splurge (including the above black and white sandals).

Saturday:
Went to Glasgow with my fellow Claire's on Saturday. Managed a quick look in the new Forever 21 but it's so big it will require a whole day visit!

Sunday:
It was a bank holiday Monday so we went to see a local tribute band. I wore a new dress from River Island and taupe spiked Litas (finally treated myself to the real deal).

Monday:
Had Easter lunch with my parents and grandparents. My evening was spent on the couch having an American TV marathon eating chocolate. Plus the sun finally came out (so of course I took a picture of my door - as you do!).

Tuesday:
Went to a restaurant in Culross called the Red Lion with my sister Lauren. The steak was to die for and you had to wear an apron as it was brought out on a sizzling plate. Lauren stayed over and we had a Girls marathon.

Wednesday:
DIY!! I began the mammoth task of painting the hall.

Thursday:
Attended the Zen Lifestyle blogger event with Cat. See previous post.

Friday:
Finally finished painting the hall and bathroom. My parents came round for tea and mum stayed as we had an early start in the morning because...

Saturday:
We went to the infamous Scout Sale in Morningside, Edinburgh. I spent a grand total of £3.50 and got a set of coasters, two cushion covers, a shirt from West Germany(?), some new books and a letter holder (not pictured). It was absolute granny shoving chaos! We then went to Ikea for lunch and I bought the obligatory scented candles, some lovely new teal towels and the main reason for the trip a massive rug for my living room. We drove past my granny's childhood home and got lost in the countryside. I had a banging Saturday night and finished painting my kitchen roof.

Sunday:
Today I finished painting the kitchen and bought colours for the kitchen and bedroom feature walls. At night I had a meal with the girls at our favourite restaurant to hear about my friend Leigh's trip to Thailand.

Being a teacher I get 12 weeks off a year (don't hate me!) Sometimes it feels like I have done nothing with my holidays so it helps to write it all down. I hope you've enjoyed a wee sneak peak at my life.

The Zen Lifestyle Beauty Event

Recently I received an invite to attend the Zen Lifestyle re-vamp event which took place at their Teviot Place salon in Edinburgh. It was an exclusive event for Bloggers, Press and other Business Owners with the opportunity to try out some of their signature treatments such as HD Brows, Blink & Go lashes and express Shellac.

I jumped at the chance to go. So armed with my trusty sidekick and bosom buddy Cat from the "Cat's Pyjamas" we rocked up to see what all the fuss was about. We were greeted at the door by a lovely hostess with a fabulous necklace and given a glass of Prosecco (good Prosecco at that which was frequently topped up!). The salon is gorgeous. Sleek, shiny with accents of signature purple. The salon appears deceptively small at first but there are two separate treatment rooms as well as a nail bar upstairs and treatment rooms and a brow bar downstairs.

This was the first Scottish Blogger Network event both Cat and I had attended. I've been blogging for a year and Cat's new to the blogging world (well the writing side anyway). It was nice to be able to meet some people face to face and of course to meet lots of new bloggers and share the love. We were too late to experience any of the treatments which had to be pre booked but the politeness of the staff and the atmosphere of the salon made up for this. We witnessed several treatments and their results such as India from India Alexandra's very neat HD brows and Ashleigh from All Out Gorgeous' pretty in pink Shellac manicure. We also saw a Fraxel Laser treatment take place; a medical procedure which uses a laser to improve texture and smoothness by treating minute sections of the skin but if you're interested in this it'll cost you £895 per session and 3-6 are recommended!

It's easy to see why the salon won UK salon of the year at the Professional Beauty awards last year. They offer a vast array of treatments from beauty to spa to advanced skin treatments and their staff are extremely welcoming. You can visit their website at www.zen-lifestyle.com or follow them on Facebook at ZenLifestyle or Twitter @Zen_Lifestyle. And they blog too at zen-lifestyle.com/blog.

Oh! We also got a fab goody bag with a full size Murad cleanser and a mini version of their candles which are on sale in the salon. You can see me swinging mine in front of the famous Greyfriar's Bobby monument which is minutes from the salon. After the event Cat and I enjoyed some Tex-Mex at Illegal Jack's which was a first for me and was damn tasty!

Pictured above are:
Claire of J'adore. and Demi of Demi Beverley/ Cat of The Cat's Pyjamas and myself!

India of India Alexandra World/ Hayley of Water Painted Dreams and Charlotte of Colours and Carousels.

I will add captions and links to this post at a later date. I'm am currently sans wifi and sans laptop as I am off to the caravan for a few days and am blogging from my phone... Where there's a will there's a way!

Tickled Pink

Jacket - Warehouse // Jumper - H&M // Dress - Primark //
Necklace - Primark // Boots - Topshop

I have a rather smug look on my face in these photos and it's probably because I'm on holiday for a whole two wonderful weeks! I wore this outfit to Glasgow on Saturday for a day/ night out with the girls. I bought the boots with my birthday money. They are really similar to a pair of chelsea boots I have from ASOS which I have worn to death over the autumn/ winter period and thought it was probably a good idea to invest in a leather version. They are fail safe, go with anything boots and based on the fact that it's April... and we STILL have snow, I'll probably be wearing them all Summer too.

P.s. This print is everywhere... Crop tops in New Look and dresses in our local boutique shop as well. However, this little beaut was only £10!

Happy Birthday To Me?

My 27th Birthday

I've not written in a diary since I was about 17 or 18 and yet here I find myself ten years later keeping a public diary for the entire world to see... But grown-ups don't keep diaries though do they? Passed adolescence we've got our heads all figured out right; we shouldn't need to write down our feelings to understand them? I suppose I held that viewpoint. Once I left home I was an adult and sitting in my bedroom scribbling down my world views on boys and music seemed trivial. However, If I'm honest, the real reason I stopped writing in my diary is because I was afraid of what I might learn about myself and that I wasn't always happy. We spend a lot of our time trying to show the world that we are happy. On the online diary that is Facebook I don't post pictures of myself crying (heaven forbid) and I try to avoid too many "Woe is me!" statuses because being happy's important.

So this week when my relationship ended I said nothing. I posted lots of pictures of myself smiling. I made plans for my birthday and got on with trying to be happy (okay, there were maybe a few whiney Twitter statuses but nobody pays attention to them *she says convincingly*). And so I'm sitting in my parents spare room so that when I wake up tomorrow I can be surrounded by people who love me with presents, writing in my online diary... 17 year old Clare masquerading in a 27 year old body.

It'd be easy to say not much has changed but it has. I'm definitely a wiser and richer person for all of the experiences life has allowed me to have in the last ten years, the people that have been a part of my life and the love that I've been shown and continue to be shown. And maybe I'm not completely happy as the clock ticks twelve and sends me into my 27th year on this planet but I'm grateful for so many things. Including this little space, my online diary of sorts, because sometimes it just helps to write it down. I hope I never forget that again.

Lover You Should Come Over

Scarf - Charity // Skirt - Topshop / Socks - Primark // Converse - Spartoo

It's officially half term - hurrah! Although for me that only means a long weekend off. However, it has been spent wonderfully so far. A trip to Ikea with the mother followed by lunch and then a very romantic evening with the boyfriend. He truly excelled himself by turning up at the door with flowers, steak and a bag full of surprises... including Valentines coupons, a stunning thrifted photo album (he's learning), a handmade bracelet and a mix-tape of significant songs. Never has anyone put so much thought or effort into presents for me. (My good karma last Valentines paid off obviously!)

The above outfit is a mish-mash of very old and very new. I bought the jacket aged fifteen with my first wage from the chippy. It's from Bay Trading! The t-shirt is topshop circa 2008 and I still love it. The socks and the shoes are new. I managed to get Converse in a size 5.5 and they are the perfect fit! Even better, they only cost £33 from spartoo.co.uk, however, that deal seems to have vamoosed! On another note I'm really enjoying seeing the southern bloggers coverage of London Fashion Week on Instagram and am hoping the rest of my long weekend is as lovely as it has been and affords me a little more blogging time.

It's Not You... It's Me.

I'm sure the majority of you that have ever ended a relationship have used the phrase "It's not you... It's me." But how many of you actually meant it? I find myself in a new relationship, my first fresh relationship in six years, which is causing me to re-evaluate my opinion of myself and whether the view I have of my last relationship is extremely rose-tinted in my favour.

We are great at admitting our superficial-flaws: I need to eat more healthily; I've not been to the gym this week; I need to try harder at work etc... but to hear your real-flaws said out loud can often feel like a knife to the ego. Nobody likes to be criticised however, I find myself turning my thoughts painfully inward in an attempt to see what others see and recognise my negative traits. My reason for doing so is that I find myself behaving in a way that's not reared it's head since my last relationship...

I am bossy. I am childish. I am critical. I have a temper. 
I never think I'm wrong. 

Phew. I almost feel like I should have a name badge and be receiving a round of applause. I suppose the above are issues I have to address. However, It's not that easy changing your spots, as I am currently finding. My new relationship has made me reflect on my last relationship a lot, which I suppose is natural given the length of time we were together and operating on the Sex and the City theory that it takes half the time you dated someone to get over them (Christ, that means three years then!). Yes, I ended the relationship and yes, I probably threw around the "It's not you... It's me." phrase without actually meaning it. However, when you end a relationship which is essentially floating along nicely because you're in the midst of a quarter life crisis* you've got to focus on the negatives to convince yourself you've done the right thing... which I did. Consequently, it's got to the point where I can't quite recall how I felt in the beginning; where I'm struggling to remember the good stuff which far outweighed the bad but maybe that's what's required to move on.

It has been strange moving into my new home; unpacking items that have been in boxes since the end of my last relationship and recognising the resurfacing of characteristics I don't necessarily want to possess. I think I'll always be bossy but hopefully I'll learn how to deal with the rest (or find a man that will!).

*or mid-twenties menopause as I've recently heard it being labelled!