Tuesday, 27 December 2011

Surviving the Festive Period sans Man

I've been meaning to write that all important second post for a while.

My excuses are plentiful...
1) I am the queen of procrastination.
2) I've discovered the bloglovin' app for my iPhone and have developed an obsession with fashion, beauty and DIY blogs.
3) I have also discovered Twitter (as if Facebook wasn't keeping me "busy" enough) .
4) If I write this post then I have to sit down and really think about the past 6 months and how I feel about my current situation.

I am decidedly less festive this year but my reasoning is that I have reached that awkward age where Christmas has lost it's sparkle and won't be regained until I have children and, like my Mummy friends, am sprinkling a mixture of glitter and oats on my front path while dancing about with sleigh bells bellowing HO, HO, HO! However, I have spent the past five Christmases with man and now I am sans man - no boyfriend gifts, no trips to winter wonderland, no mistletoe kisses. Is that the reason I am looking on the holidays with such indifference? Is Christmas for couples? I got emotional when I was helping my mum put up the Christmas tree (was this because I was doing it with a rather large Baileys in hand?!). I hadn't thought about my ex for a while and yet there I was tearing up... and why? Any joint effort we put into something ended up in an arguement and putting up the tree was no different. We also disagreed on whether snowball fights were cool. I was in the yes camp and he was in the no :( 

We place huge expectations on Christmas... we talk about it non-stop in the two months or more leading up to the 25th of December, we watch Christmas films that spread messages of goodwill and joy and coupled or single we place huge expectations on ourselves to have the best time, the most perfect time. So how do I feel about my current situation...? I am not unhappy. I am home surrounded by family who love me. I have had a year full of amazing experiences and experiences which have helped me learn a lot of life lessons. I am looking forward to the new year, of wiping the slate, of starting afresh whatever that means. However, that doesn't mean I haven't had my moments. Winter is for snuggling and my poor teddy bear is thread bare. I've also had to endure Facebook posts from loved up couples gushing about how lucky they were and how fabulous their boyfriends/ girlfriends are and how happy they are etc. etc. I'm possibly suffering from SAD... get up the dark, come home in the dark, hide in room, sleep, repeat on a daily basis. I also bumped into my ex the other day while out being festively merry and the casual banter is still a bit forced because there are many mixed feelings still there. I'm also struggling with the rules of dating and invariably playing it cool when I am not! (Separate post to follow on this)

Surviving the festive period sans man? Well we're only half way through and I've survived so far without a major melt down I think I'm doing not to badly... Bring on Hogmany (New Years Eve)!!!

No comments:

Post a Comment