Friday, 2 March 2012

Text and the Single Girl

My impression of being single was always very much based on Sex and the City. Single girls were approached in clubs, bars, coffee shops and the like by eligible bachelors. They went on dates to the cinema, for meals, to bars, for walks in the park, to arcades. And most tantalizing of all, they had fabulous short lived love affairs and frequently met up with their girlfriends and conversed over cosmopolitans. Let’s just say my experience of being single could not be further from this glossy American dream.

Okay, so realistically I know life doesn't work like it does on TV, especially in a wee Scottish village. Secondly, living at home, saving for a deposit, a trip to Thailand and working a nine to five job does not allow me mid-week jaunts to the “city”. And lastly, most relationships develop out of convenience; office romances, high school/ university relationships or getting it on with Harry from your local. But what if your local is your ex's local... Harry plays football with your ex... Your best friends' boyfriends all belong to the same social circle and all drink in the local with your ex and his new girlfriend... It's time to move further afield and close the EX-files, which is exactly what I have been trying to do since I became a single girl.

After being in relationships since the tender age of seventeen I wanted to date. Plus I wanted the chance to just be single, to be completely selfish and *embarrassing cough* find myself. However, in the space of eight months I have went on the grand total of ONE date! This consisted of a few drinks in a pub followed by a Frankie and Bennie's. I refuse to include my brief encounter with a guy I met at a house party which consisted of ordering a Chinese in his mum's house. When I suggested going on a proper date his response was "Eating's gay"... Oh dear.

However, at least these encounters were proper face to face, physical encounters. I have recently started to believe that men are only interested in one thing nowadays... TEXT. So you meet a guy on night out, exchange a cheeky little kiss or two, give him your number and the next day you receive a text. You try your best to be cute, funny, original. You discuss meeting up for a proper date. You start to develop an attachment to receiving his frequent flirty little messages... and by this stage they have become flirty. Then either it fizzles out because there is only so much that can be said before the texts become banal... beep,beep "Hey hows u?" beep,beep "Watching eastenders"... Zzzz. Or you muster up the courage to say "So when are we meeting up?" and the idea of an in the flesh rendezvous renders them finger-less and they never text again.

I for one refuse to have another text relationship. These potted relationships have all the drama of the real thing without the added bonus of face to face conversation, a few drinks and a snog. I fail to see where the payoff is and more importantly they are a complete waste of my time, effort and wit! The worrying thing is whether this is the future. I know fifteen year old girls who, despite sitting next to each other, text instead of talking. My iPhone is a constant extension of my arm and I struggle to function without it. My addiction to social networking is so much so that I check my Facebook and Twitter news-feeds in the morning as if they were my daily newspapers. While I appreciate the benefits of the virtual world we live in it saddens me to think that in the future all relationships will take place on a virtual plain where all "fluid transfers" have been outlawed, babies are made in a lab and sex is enjoyed via the use of sex-helmets. Slightly extreme you ask? A laughable concept? Well you ask your average Joe in 1995, when mobiles and social networking were a thing of the future, whether he would prefer spending all day writing to a girl or taking her out for a drink. I think you know the answer. Hint, hint gentlemen.

Sandra beautifully modelling her sex helmet.

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